“All things being proper, I think I’m right 90% of the time, and the 10% that I think I’m wrong, I think I would have been right, if the ifs hand’t happened. I churn over ideas in my head constantly looking for flaws, how could I ever have it wrong “. This used to be the way that I thought subconsciously, not out of spite or any particular malice, it was just an underlying belief that given a discussion or argument that my idea would be valid, unless proven otherwise. This ideology hurt my ability to bring ideas from many places together and led to more pointless time wasting, than any other behavior of mine. I took the following steps to change.
When the discussion/argument starts say to yourself mentally that there is no right or wrong
- Feeling like you are defending an idea or a stance makes the matter too personal
Avoid other people’s triggers within reason
- If there’s a person that hates bologna, then don’t talk about how bologna is the greatest thing since sliced bread
Ask How Can I help ?
- What I mean is that a lot of times you’re on the same team or in the same relationship, so given those things, think about the problem or discussion from the perspective of How can I help ? When I do this most of my conflict goes away I don’t take anything personally, and I try doubly to come up with a plan or strategy that utilizes our strengths to achieve some end result.